our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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