Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
