i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize
