thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
