come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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