Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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