Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
