she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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