Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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