i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
