why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I miss vodka workout Fridays
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
