Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
