Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
