I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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