How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
