Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
