the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
