and i looked up. we had an audience...
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
