At least make sure they are 18
Why
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
