I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Randomize
