? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
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