You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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