He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
