don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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