Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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