wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
