We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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