Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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