i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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