yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
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