the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
