the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
