sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
