I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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