Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
