honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
