Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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