I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
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