Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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