mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
