If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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