Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Im part way to drunk.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize