I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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