The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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