So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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