She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
