it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
