Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
