yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
