chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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