Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize