I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
