My hair reeks of homosexuality.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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