singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I've blown a few things in my day
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
