Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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