hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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