my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
