I look better un-naked...
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
