I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
